Sunday, May 31, 2009

Loving Life

How the pugs entertain themselves now.
We took him to the park on Friday. What a beautiful day.

This is his pissed off, I'm hungry you bitch, hurry up and feed me face.
Sleeping in with daddy.
He loves this bouncy seat. It has afforded me some free to eat.
Staring at daddy's glasses.

He's never quite sure about this of us always has to sit here with him.Check out his feet in this picture...

When I was pregnant I never imagined that a little person could impact your daily schedule so much. I had no idea that someone so smal would dictate my every move. Yesterday, Tyler and I wanted to run errands. We decided that we needed a few groceries, something from radio shack, and I wanted to make a quick trip to Target. We started getting ready at 10 am and I assumed we would be leaving at 11am. We showered, ate breakfast, fed Zander, and got the diaper bag ready. I looked at the clock again and it was 2pm. Holy crap where did my day go. Long gone are the days of getting myself ready in 45 minutes and running out the door. I think right now I am grieving that loss. Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy and am so happy he is here but I have had 30 years of alone time and got use to it. It is a big change to have to look after someone 24/7. Its an exciting time but also a scary time that noone can truly prepare you for. I have never worried about someone so much and been so thankful for someone in my life. I have a whole new respect for my parents now.

I have also discovered a new love for my husband. I have always loved Tyler but the connection that I feel to him and our little boy has made the love I feel for him much deeper. I look at Tyler in a whole new light. We are connected on a different level now. Each time I see him with Zander I fall more in love with him.

My friend Hailey wrote in her last post that she struggles with wanting her little girl here or staying pregnant so she can keep her safe. I completely know what you mean Hailey! I'm so happy to have my little boy here but life was much easier when he was safe and tucked away under my complete protection. It is hard to let go of the fear of keeping him completely safe. However, life was not as exciting. The day that Zander was born I felt reborn. Everything is new to him and I get to experience that too. My sister in-law says having a new born is baptism by fire. I know what she means now. I have said it once in this post and I will say it again, Noone can prepare you for having a newborn. It is the most incredible experience and life changing event you can experience.
I feel so lucky. Isn't Life Grand.


  1. Great post. I couldn't have said it better. Everything you write is so true. I think it must be something that all parents go through.

    It cracks me up that you thought it would only take you an hour to get ready... It only takes longer the older they get, it seems! Well.. maybe not FOUR HOURS, but it always takes us forever.

    I absolutely LOVE the picture of Zander angry and you can see your face in the corner with HUGE SMILE. Classic. Also, the picture of Zander and Tyler in bed is incredible. It's such a beautiful picture! And the peace onesie is AWESOME! Plus, he looks so freaken adorable in it. He's so so gorgeous. I think he got his good lucks from his aunt Sarah.

  2. Ahhhh! He's so stinking cute, I could eat him up.

    I totally hear where you are coming from. I'm STILL mourning the loss of "Me" time. Here's a poem that sums up my thoughts on needing more me time:

    Sometimes, you just want to crap without someone sitting on your lap.

    Haha. I keep saying "someday, when the kids are at school for seven hours each day, I'll be able to..."

    Also, Isn't it amazing how much crap you have to haul along with you when you have a baby? It use to just be my purse, but now I have to pack snacks, diaper bag, carseat, etc. etc. But you get use to it, and they do get easier and need less stuff as they get older.

    Also, I'm having major freaking out moments being pregnant again. I wonder how I'm going to do it again with a two-year-old in the mix, Ahhhh! I totally relate to you and Haylery- I am SO glad I have a few more months of womb time to get my act together.

    He's looking more and more like you! It's so funny how depending on the picture, I see either you or Tyler in him. Can't wait to see you guys again and hold the little dude. Love ya!

    Sorry, this was a really long comment.

  3. Tammy, you totally nailed how it feels to be a first-time parent. It's an amazing feeling to put your baby's needs before your needs without a second thought, but it's also hard adjusting to putting yourself on the backburner too. You are also so right about loving your husband in a whole different's the best! Zander is so precious...I still can't believe our babies are the exact same age:)

  4. Two years into being parents and we're still trying to figure out how to get out of the door under an hour.

    You guys are doing great. Getting the hang of being a parent is neat, isn't it? One thing that sunk in for me recently was that new parents (and seasoned?) give less advice, and more consoling, and those who aren't parents have endless advice. Weirdly ironic, and amusing.

    I love reading your blog, since it's as close as I can get to hanging out with you guys, without actually being there.


  5. Tammy, you just convinced me to live in the now :) I will cherish these last days of "me time" and of keeping my girl safe in my belly... and when she arrives, I will get to experience the baptism by fire and all the extra love I will have in my heart for my daughter and her daddy :)

    Sounds perfect.

  6. What a lucky boy, Zander. He has adoring parents, cute dogs to watch, and a sunny day in the park. Life is grand!

  7. Tammy Jo, everything you said is something that all new moms say! It's ridiculous how long it takes to get out the door sometimes. As soon as you're ready, the kid lets out a huge poop, and the process starts all over again.

    My tip is to keep the diaper bag packed and by the door. Our "code" is that if the diaper bag is closed, it's ready to go. If the flap is open, then it still needs something.

    When in doubt, keep 1 person at home, and send the other one out to run the errands. =D

    And trust me, I understand what you mean by a whole new love. Troy has become amazing in my eyes because I see him in the same light that Jack sees him.

  8. Hey, why haven't you written a new blog lately? Busy or something? Make me a treat!

    Here's me saying something I probably shouldn't again, but I swear it's good natured, and I'll try to word it that way:

    I'll start by saying that the day Rory and I discovered we were morons was the day that Apollo was born.

    It's kind of satisfying, and sort of like witnessing a higher power doing an experiment, to see some people become parents. You get to witness the "Before Parents", who had things down as far as how to prepare the house, how much TV they'd let their kids watch, how many sweets they'd allow them to eat, and how relatively simple everything seemed like it would be after the baby shot out... then you get to witness the "After Parents", or just "Parents" side of people, when they realize they're part of an alien experiment to see how they react to dirty diapers, endless vomit, temperatures of anything above 98.6, days that last for a year, years that last for a day, incessant and incurable crying, and all kinds of other weird twists and terrible/wonderful adventures, generally described as total chaos. That's why I hate aliens so much.

    Anyway, I don't know exactly how everything has been going for you, but Rory told me about Tyler getting frustrated with not being able to calm Zander, and the ladies at work who asked you to bring a treat in for them since their days were so hectic while (since you had so much time at home with Zander).
    First... Oh man, I can totally relate with Tyler. A couple of times I felt like throwing Apollo across the room and running the opposite direction. I literally felt like I was about to on a couple of occasions. Phew! Thank God for spouses. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood.
    Second, the treat thing still cracks me up when I think about it. From their perspective it's just "what's the big deal? Change his diaper, let him nap or lay on the floor, feed him every couple of hours... what more is there?" This, interpreted by us who have been inducted into the Secret Parental Club, is heard as "Hi, I'm a genius and know pretty much everything about everything. Just ask me, I'll tell you." Then they go on thinking that and you can't do anything about it... unless, of course, they get inducted too. Then you can just sit back, and watch those aliens go to work.

    I love you guys. Can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks, and hold my little nephew.


  9. P.S. I've read your post a few times now and I still smile all the way through it.

  10. Cameron all I can say is...I love you. Miss you and your big hands tons:)