Loving Life

How the pugs entertain themselves now.
We took him to the park on Friday. What a beautiful day.

This is his pissed off, I'm hungry you bitch, hurry up and feed me face.
Sleeping in with daddy.
He loves this bouncy seat. It has afforded me some free time...like to eat.
Staring at daddy's glasses.

He's never quite sure about this swing...one of us always has to sit here with him.Check out his feet in this picture...

When I was pregnant I never imagined that a little person could impact your daily schedule so much. I had no idea that someone so smal would dictate my every move. Yesterday, Tyler and I wanted to run errands. We decided that we needed a few groceries, something from radio shack, and I wanted to make a quick trip to Target. We started getting ready at 10 am and I assumed we would be leaving at 11am. We showered, ate breakfast, fed Zander, and got the diaper bag ready. I looked at the clock again and it was 2pm. Holy crap where did my day go. Long gone are the days of getting myself ready in 45 minutes and running out the door. I think right now I am grieving that loss. Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy and am so happy he is here but I have had 30 years of alone time and got use to it. It is a big change to have to look after someone 24/7. Its an exciting time but also a scary time that noone can truly prepare you for. I have never worried about someone so much and been so thankful for someone in my life. I have a whole new respect for my parents now.

I have also discovered a new love for my husband. I have always loved Tyler but the connection that I feel to him and our little boy has made the love I feel for him much deeper. I look at Tyler in a whole new light. We are connected on a different level now. Each time I see him with Zander I fall more in love with him.

My friend Hailey wrote in her last post that she struggles with wanting her little girl here or staying pregnant so she can keep her safe. I completely know what you mean Hailey! I'm so happy to have my little boy here but life was much easier when he was safe and tucked away under my complete protection. It is hard to let go of the fear of keeping him completely safe. However, life was not as exciting. The day that Zander was born I felt reborn. Everything is new to him and I get to experience that too. My sister in-law says having a new born is baptism by fire. I know what she means now. I have said it once in this post and I will say it again, Noone can prepare you for having a newborn. It is the most incredible experience and life changing event you can experience.
I feel so lucky. Isn't Life Grand.

My Lovely Boy

Here are the newest photos of my love. We have been slowly getting into our routine. I have learned so much about him already. Tyler is home with us today and spending time bonding with his little man. We had him circumsized on Wednesday which was extremely traumatizing for the both of us. Every time I change him now I have to put this Vaseline gauze on his little penis. He is doing better everyday!
He is so much fun we are enjoying him everyday.

Zander Baby

Here are some pics of our new little gem. I hope you all enjoy! Life has been a little crazy which I'm sure you can imagine! In my last post there was one error! My water broke at work on Tuesday night and I had him wednesday morning!.

Welcome to the world Zander Scott Spence

On Wednesday evening, my water broke at work. I thought I'd peed my pants. We went to the hospital and to my astonishment, they confirmed that it wasn't pee, but my water had actually broken. They admitted me at around 9:00 p.m. My contractions were consistent- two to three minutes apart- and it was the worst pain of my life. They FINALLY gave me an epidural at 10:30. It took them an hour to put the epidural in. Apparently, my ligaments were closer together than the average persons, so it was difficult for her to get the needle in the right spot. I had progressed from three centimeters to five in an hour and a half, so they assumed he was coming. WRONG! I had to lay there on my nine-month-pregnant stomach for an hour, contracting and feeling like I wanted to puke from pain. FINALLY, she got the epidural in (after five tries), and I wanted to kiss everyone in the room. It was the best feeling ever. I was able to relax, calm myself down, and get excited. The epidural is a major reason why I want to have kids again. I hate needles, but the epidural was worth getting poked.

I stopped progressing after the epidural. They gave me to option of having pitocin or waiting until the morning to see how I progressed. I chose to wait and see if I could progress on my own... bit that didn't work out. At this point in time, we had my mom sleeping on two chairs pushed together, Tyler's dad sleeping in a rocking chair (sawing logs), Tyler was on the couch, and Tyler's mom was on the floor. At five a.m., they decided to induce me with pitocin. I was still only at five centimers at that point. At six o'clock, they gave me the pitocin, and by 8:30 I was at ten centimeters plus three. They had to wait for the doctor to get there. They asked me not to push, but the contractions were making that impossible. When the doctor finally showed up (around 9 o'clock) I pushed four times, and then they asked me to wait because he was still getting dressed into his scrubs. He didn't have time to dress into his scrubs, because the baby's head popped out on it's own. I had a contraction- I didn't push, it just happened. I started yelling "I didn't push, I didn't push!"

I started crying as they placed him on my belly. He was beautiful. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was so perfect. He was pink and had lots of soft, dark hair. He was screaming loudly, but he calmed down when I finally held him. Tyler and I cried tears of joy as we gazed upon our amazing creation. Tyler says that he is his favorite person in the whole world. I'll gladly take second :)

Here are his stats:

Name: Zander Scott Spence

Weight: 7 pounds 6 ounces

Length: 19 inches

Head: 13 inches

We took him home today. I love holding him, sniffing his sweet baby smell, and gazing at his perfection. We're excited and exhausted.

2 to 3 centimeters and counting!!!

So here I am in all my 38 week glory! I went to the doctor on friday and he told me that I am 2 to 3 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. I said "huh, 2 to 3? what does that mean?" He said "well more like 2." I did not feel very comfortable with this diagnosis! He then proceeded to tell me that women walk around like this for weeks or they go into labor tonight. Holy crap I thought! I have so much more to get done. I left his office in a state of panic and felt like crying all the way home. All I could think about was how desperately I needed to make it through this weekend because I wanted to go to the DUMP. As most of you know, last weekend was my baby shower and I have tons and tons of boxes lying around driving me crazy. We have some other things to get done like getting our carpets cleaned, getting the pugs to the groomer, getting a pedicure, packing my hospital bag and getting the car seat in the car. However, the dump has been my number 1 priority!

I called Tyler on my way home in a complete panic. He told me to relax (as we all know, easy for him to say) and promised that no matter what he would get the dump taken care of. As soon as I got home I began to clean but then I got worried that that would induce my labor so I layed down and vowed to put myself on bed rest and boss Tyler around to get the chores done!

Tyler did keep his promise and woke up early saturday morning, with alittle help from me and his fur babies, and went to the dump. AHHH what a feeling to have all that crap gone. So far we have gotten everything done except my pedicure, dog grooming (which is scheduled for next friday) and carpets cleaned (which is also scheduled for next friday). BUT, Atleast the dump was accomplished. I think that I might make Tyler give me a at home pedicure tonight especially since I don't feel like going anywhere. I want to put my feet up and watch LOST. Oh and maybe make some cookies:)

I think that having this baby is going to do a world of good for me. Maybe he will help me to be less neurotic!

I will continue to keep you all posted on my progress!

Week 36 with Fat Bastard Face

Yes Sniffer, I stole it...Fat Bastard Face. My face has totally filled out and I feel like the state puff marshmallow man. Today I begin week 36 and I cannot believe it. I have finally reached the point where I visit the doctor every week and I have to be checked for "progress". I feel like I'm ready and then a minute later I feel scared as hell. I can't wait to meet this little man. Tyler and I have finally decided on 2 different names the initials will either be LSS or ZSS. We have decided to see what he looks like and then choose. I never realized how difficult it would be to choose a name. It is such a big responsibility. The little guy will have this name forever. It will be part of what defines him. When choosing a name I wanted to make sure that he would not have to endure horrible nicknames at school. I had god awful nicknames, for example, duncan donuts (not too bad), tampon (horrible), contamination (Extremely horrible), drunkin duncan (high school), and my personal favorite which my dad still calls me (Tammy Faye). After 9 months of thinking I feel like the two names we have chosen are safe.

This coming weekend is my baby shower, I can't wait. My mom is flying over on friday and I'm so excited. I always miss my mom but man since I've been pregnant I have never wished more that she lived close. Some afternoons when I'm doing laundry and have to go to the grocery store I think "man...if mom were here she would come do this for me." My mom takes my crap, listens to my problems and will do what I ask without question. I can yell at her and a minute later tell her I'm sorry and she always says "what for, you didn't do anything wrong." She rubs my feet, makes my favorite foods and Tyler's favorite breakfast (homemade biscuits and gravy), makes fun of me when I'm being a bitch, she washes and irons my clothes when I come home for a visit, babysits my dogs, and loves my husband without question. My mom is open minded and progressive and has the greatest sense of humor. She is smart, funny, and absolutely gorgeous. She knows what I'm thinking and can explain (especially to Tyler) why I'm crying (especially when my eggs are cooked wrong). Thank you mom for showing me how to be a loving mom. I can't wait to see you.

Baby Spence Nursery

Here are some pictures of the babies room this far. The pictures in the frames will be changed out to pictures of Tyler and I and the baby (when he comes). My sister painted the murral of Horton when she stayed with me in January (Sorry about the picture, the futon is in the way). Tyler thinks it looks like Horton is pooping out the receptical. :) We are going to move the futon out after my mom stays with us and put the rocking chair in there. My brother in law is building a shelf to put the stereo on so I can move that off the baby changing table. I love it so far.
This weekend was once again spent cleaning and reorganizing. Tyler and I bought a new stove(I didn't feel like our old one was safe, it would randomly come on) and a new cabinet for our kitchen. It looks so great in there. After re-organizing the kitchen we cleaned the whole house AGAIN. Tyler told me that he wants to get me a construction hat and clip board because I always have some project for his weekends. I say WHATEVER punk.
Life is good though, I can't complain. The baby does this awesome thing in the morning where his butt is so high it protrudes out of my stomach. Tyler says it looks like an alien is trying to come out. I love it, I sit and rub it every morning.
I am getting bigger for sure and I here all these random comments from families at work like "Oh my Tammy, you look like you are going to pop any day" or "Let me see your feet, are they swollen?, the feet always determine when baby will come" or "Wow you're really waddling now!" or my personal favorite from one of the kiddos "I want to see the baby, open your mouth!" So many kids try to lift up my shirt to see the baby. It has been really fun to see what people are going to say.